“Hello Mrs. Seitz! Hello Mr. Seitz!” Such a loud, exciting (well-mannered) voice. A little comical at times and a tall order of laughter. That’s Joy. Such a big voice…a bit deep and fast. What a fitting name for someone with so much energy. So smart and bright. She’s going to have to find that light again. I’m sure it’s a bit dim today. Her Dad is gone. He died. She’s only 12.
This is my outlet. Writing. Well, and crying. I’m mad. I’m mad this happened. I’m mad he’s gone. I hate all the sweet little words people say…for instance, my heart is heavy for you, deepest condolences, no words can express my sorrow… I don’t know what to say! I can’t think of anything nice to say. How about…This sucks. This totally sucks and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry and I hate that this happened.
Coach Geoff. He is a good coach. It wasn’t all about winning to him at least he made us feel this way. He helped my daughter with technique and throwing. He wasn’t in the girl’s faces..yelling or screaming…I honestly barely remember him saying much of anything. He did his thing and they liked him. He IS a good guy. I’m mad…okay..and so sad to see him go.
It’s going to be a while before I see that very bright light again in Joy. I totally get it. I understand. She’ll find it again when she’s ready and I hope she gets so mad and screams and cries and says how much this sucks. Then I hope she can smile and remember the last time she told him she loved him and the hugs she gave him and the way he smelled when they sat together on the couch or when he said goodnight and tucked her in. The time he devoted to coaching her team after team…after team. He IS such a huge part of why Joy is so bright and happy. She’ll find her light again…I know it. It will always be there inside her heart..it will never leave her. Always there… just needs some time to be dim.
I’m sorry. This sucks.